free to laugh at their faces :)

I have been away from school since last tuesday due to my sickness that i almost taken my life away , At that time i was thinking if i closed my eyes forever , Would people be happy ? If God took my life away at that moment , I guess that people would be smiling their ass off cause i'm not around anymore .

For 4 days i was handling the pain just to survive until at a point , I just wanna give up my life and be done with it already cause to me , why would you wanna live in a place where you know that you're not belong to ?

I attend to change all that so that people would know who i am and people would take back all the things that they said to me . But its going to take a hell of patients and personal anger management -________-" So that one day , I'll be laughing at their faces :)

Can't wait till that day comes :D

ttyl :)

-lalarawry-

The music into my ears (:

Heart-A-Tack down below

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iB7dO7Tv38

The lead singer from this band is my bestfriend who is also everything to me , Ayeen :) He is the guy that shows me the true meaning of music :)

This is one of my fav song from this band :) Support them :D

Oh and ayeen , I love you dude <3

The real me .

People nowadays cant seem to shut their mouths can they ? Always talking about people just to make themselves feel better then EVERYONE else  !

Well here's a shout out to you bitches ,

Yaw Bitches !

Stop talking bad shits about people ! If you think that you're so good enough , why don't you say it infront of my FACE ! If not , Then SHUT THE FUCK UP !
Its because of jerks like you , I've lost almost everyone that i treasured the most ! And because of you guys , I've almost lost someone that's very dear to me , My bestie :( . How Would you like it if people talked things behind your back huh ?
Get A fucking life you MORRON ! Stop screwing others ! Unless you dont have anything nice to say , SHUT THE FUCK UP !

Form 4 stories :)

Today is the 4th day that i've been a form 4 student :) So far , things are going absolutely FUN :D The new subjects are surely interesting and the best part is , in my class , there's this one boy that is kinda small , I mean REALLY small but as cute as a 6 year old , He is like the comedian of the class :)

Everytime when there's a teacher comes to teach us , he will surely do or say something that is really super cute :P As amy said "dia flirting gan kau doe zai" i was lke pfffffffft , as if ! Well , I dont know , he winks at me and stuff but i think that he is just being annoying :)

But , The bad thing about this year is that the school rules and teachers has been taken to a whole new level which is freaking UNCOOL -_______-" The new teachers are freaking mean looking , and the name of the school , Pffft , ridiculous like damn shit man ! I like apiit better :)

Oh oh , and i think that miss adeline has lost her mind , whyy ? she elected me to be a PREFECT ! Omg 0.o what is she thinking man ! I have no capability to be one -__________-

well , thats the end :)

-lalarawry-

Somethings are better left as a secret

You know when you text or call someone then you felt something that you too cant explain the sensation *not talking horny stuff's f.y.i* its like your heart is beating so fast like its going to burst out , and you're face is freaking red , you cant stop smiling and your words became to tell a different story . You'll be thinking "omg , what the hell is happening to me ?"  That ladies and gentlemen , The "love bug" has bitten you again :)

Sure , its good to be in love or being gaga over a guy or a girl . You talked for hours but it feels like minutes , You think about them for days but you still think that its not enough cause you know that , that person deserve so much more from you . So you act weirdly like trying to flirt with them and make them laugh or something , Till at a point , You know that the thing that you've done , are all wasted .

Us people are common to make mistakes , as in , Telling the person that you like or love .. The truth . "hey , i like you" or even , "hey , i don't know how to say this , but i think i love you" This is certainly a very WRONG thing to do ! The thing is , some people don't think like we do or feel the same way that we do .

The thing is , you have to keep them guessing but not waiting . Be casual but seductive *not the horny thingy* show then you love them but be as secretive as you can be . Girls and guys likes to play a little bit of love games to attract their attention . To show that you really want them but you're not trying so hard . That ladies and gentleman is the key to win over someones heart :)

The next time you wanna confess to someone that you like them , make sure not to be so straight forward -___-" Its going to make things very awkward for that person . Trust me , I've learn the hard way :(

10 things why i hate my life -_________-

There are 10 things that i hate about my life :)

1. My family doesn't understand me -__________-"

2. I am a prisoner at my own house :(

3. My boyfriend is TOO hot ,  that's why people wanna take him away -___-" *fuck you bitches !*

4. My boobs are too attractive to people -__- *thats what they all say*

5. As my friend said "Kau kene kuaq pakai plastic bag kart muke kau" HAHAHA . WTF

6. People say that i am TOO nice -__________-" *as if -,-"*

7. My eyes gila retarded but my boyfriend kate ia sexy ;P *pale dia doe*

8. My ass is like to BIG ! *I need to squat -__________-"*

9 . I can't always have anything that i want :(

10 . I'm not happy with  my life :(

The ghost of my past :O

I texted someone from my past the other day . I was thinking "Oh shit , What the hell am i doing ? He wont reply for sure -___- you are so dumb lala !"  Then a few minutes later , He did reply my text . My heart was pounding the whole time i was texting him . We talkd about life , future and current things thats going on .

Little that i know , he already has someone that can makes him happy the way i could never imagine doing . The smile on his face at Spade when he hold her hand , I would give anything to have his gaze back then . But things change . So does feelings .

As days goes by , we became friends . It was a good thing for me . Because i never wanna loose him from my life again . Its hard enough dealing with my mistakes in the past . Its time for me to fix things up .

But how can i be friends with someone i used to love ? Seeing him with another girl just makes me feel like jumping down a cliff or stab my heart or something so that it wont hurt anymore . If you ask me if i still love him . My answer is .. maybe yes . Its hard for me to forget him even throwing away his stuffs makes me breakdown in tears . So i kept it all . All of our memories .

Pfffft, Who am i kidding man -__-" He obviously wont accept me back even if his single. What the hell was i thinking ? That i can just take him away from his new love ? NO WAY -_-" I'm not that cruel or bitchyy ! Guess i just have to accept the fact that his happy now :) 

Goodluck with her :) I'm happy for you both .

-lalarawr-

Ayeen :(

Hello my panda bestiee :) HAHA .

Ayeen , i write this to tell you something , Dude , DONT GO TO THE STUPID PLKN  ;(  How can i live without you for 3 whole months . I can't call you or text you man :( I can't hear your voice singing to me when i want you too . Its just sad when i think about letting you go to the bloody plkn . Who will i talk to ? Whose shoulder will i lean on ?

Ayeen , you're special to me in every way . You're a part f my life now and i am really thankful to have such a friend as you . You should me that you can love someone unconditionally without thinking whats going to happen next or where will it end . You open my heart to see that theres more to life that i have to learn and be strong for whats going to happen .

I am so used to talking to you , no matter at day or night , You're always be there for me when i need you . Its hard for me to find a friend like you . You know me better then anyone else . You're like my better half . How can i spend my days without you ?

Gaaaaaaaaaaah , ayeen :( Each day is a day closer for you to go away from me . I promise myself that i wont cry when you're gone . But you know that i can't right :( I love you dude. I really do .

Oh and dude , I'm sorry for being to "jiwang" And all but you're worth it :D

-Iloveyou panda dude-

-lalarawry-

ahh , new year :)

Goodbye 2009 , Hello 2010 :D

Well , today is the 1st of January 2010 ! Only a few days left till school re-opens :D *pfffffft , why am i so happy about school ? Thats weird -_____-"* 

So , people are always talking about new year thingy right , Well , my new year thingy is just : 

1. TO have an AWESOME time being a form 4 student .

2. Party till DAWN !

3. Study my ass off for me to have my freedom -___-" FUCK

4. Try to be nice to my family :) *pfft, as if ! -_-"*

5. Try to be nice to other people :) *aww, i'm turning GAY*

6. Living a retarded happy GAY life and meking the best of it for 2010 :) 

7. Bash anyone that is Annoyingly disturbing my happiness :D *Oh yeah !* 

8. Smile alot :D 

9. Ohh ohh , try to remember the good times with papa as much as possible *i miss you pa :(* 

10. Oh , and try not to cry on papa's birthday :( 25th January :'(

Well , thats all for my 2010 new years thingy :D HAHA

-lalarawry-