My Angel :)

Babyy , the reason I wrote this blog is to tell you how much I appriciate having you in my life . When things are going totaly wrong , i know that i have you to be right beside me to calm me down . You showed me that eventhough I was in a total mess , You would always be there to save me no matter how hard it is . You hold my hand and you wipe my tears when I was down , You get me back up . You stick to you words when you wanna replace papa in my life , I thank you for taking care of me baby .

Baby , I'm sorry for my behavior which may displeased you at times . I swear i didn't mean to hurt you in anyway . And thank you for being beside me today when I thought that my life has ended just based on a piece of paper that tells me i've failed to make papa , mama , abang , sis and you proud . But you didn't judge me . Instead you calm me down . You hold me in your arms and wipe my tears . You look into my eyes and you told me that everything is going to be okay . I never thought that I would have a guy like you in my life baby ,

As for now , eventhough you're not infront of me , I know that you'll always be right with me cause you once said "selagi I masih bernafas , I akn tetap jage u" I will keep this promise till my last breath baby .

Oh babyy , Thank you so much for making me smile . I swear i'll never hurt you babyy . I love you so damn much babyy :) And you know thats just a lil bit of my love to you :) if each raindrops were kisses , i'll give you showers . If hugs were seas , i'll give you Oceans . And if love is a thing , I would cetainly give you my heart :)

I'm glad that it was on your shoulder's i've cried on . So now , You know that i may look tough , but baby , You and i know that its not true right ? You know me inside out . So you're the only one who can judge me . I love you Muhd . NorFaizal B. Abdul Halim <3 You're the best thing that i've been always searching for . And i'm glad that you are the one who made my fairytale come true :) I love you so damn fucking muchy muchy baby :*

According to you

A guy once told me that he can NEVER live without me in his life , He told me that i was the love of his life . He even told me that he want to spend the rest of his life with me cause he thinks that i am "the one" The ultimate super women for him , Well , This last for actually , 3 MONTHS .

Then , He dates this super hot chick who is a model and who is also , my PET SISTER ! Wowwwwwww , you really know how to make a girl pissed off don't you ? Oh oh , The best part is , He told her the same thing that he once told me :) Aww . How DISGUSTING a guy's mouth can be ( sorry baby , jangan terase :P)

After 4 months with that girl , He goes to another one. OMG , This is getting better and better . He was together with my BESTFRIEND :D Damn , was i lost of words when i found out that part and again , with his words of love and loyalty . I thought to myself , "this has got to stop and i mean NOW"

Oh oh , later that night . I took the liberty to call him infornt of my bestfriend and my pet sister :) Whyyyy you may ask , Cause he said that he want to get back with me and also my pet sister :O OMG rightttt -.- Oh oh , so then this is what happend

X : Heyyyyy baby lala , How are you ? Miss me dont you :)
Me : Oh heyyy X . I'm good :) Well , if you say so :)
X : So , why did you call ?
Me : I was actually thinking about you :) I was wondering if you are too :)
X : Omg baby girl , ofcuz i do :) I think about you all the time :)
Me : What about .... ? do you love me ?
X : Yes baby :) I've always love you :P
Me : What about your gf ?
X : My gf ? There's nothi9ng serious about me and her lah baby :) I wanna be with you :) Please :(
Me : Leave your gf first then we talk okayy :)
X : No problem :) I'll talk to you soon okay :)
Me : Oh okayy :) Take care :)

Then he called my pet sister -.-

X : Hello sayang :)
K : Oh hello babyy :) Miss me ?
X : Hell yeah i do :) Do you ?
K : You know i do right :) So , why you call me ?
X : I miss you lah :(
K : Your gf ?
X : She's not important lah sayang :) You are :)
K : So ? What do you want ?
X : YOU :D
K : leave your gf first okayy :)
X : I love you
K : As so do i :D

Then he called his GF !

X : Babyy , we got to talk -.-
H : yes baby ? Whats up ?
X : I've been thinking and i think we should .....
H : Go our separate ways because I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU ?
X : Eyh , no lah ? You mean everything to me !
K : Oh really ? WHAT ABOUT ME ?
Me : AND ME ??????????????
H : wooww . I cnt belive you
X : OMG ! WTF ARE YOU GUYS DOING THERE ??
H : Its over X . I hate you , Sorry , WE HATE YOU !
Me : HAHA , Too hot for rejection my ass !
K : byee baby boy :) I love you .. NOT

We all laughed till we couldn't laugh anymore :) HAHA . Its was fun man :D

Oh oh , If you're reading this .. FUCK YOU DUDE :D

Leason to be learn , The world isn't according to you okay -.-" GROW UP

Fcking PMR -.-"

URGH , Today clearly cant get any better man -.- . The obvious fact that i literally FAIL my PMR was one thing , And another thing is , My family was doing a job job and taking things in ... NOT IN A MILLION YEARS !
My mom was saying like "Aku tak sangka aku dapat anak yang bodoh mcm kau" Then my brother pula , "aku klu boleh tknk mengaku kau adk aku -.-" Memalukan !"

Well , here's something for you guys okayy :)

Mama , Please understand my situation . We just lost OUR DAD ! and to top things up , I cant even have a steady life ! With this family having its fucking meltdown , HOW THE FUCK CAN I FUCKING COMCENTRATE ! Do tell me what the hell do you think that i should do huh ? Oh and Abang , DUDE  ! Listen up ! Its hard being a teenager okayyy ! espeacially when you just found out that you've been living a lie for all your years of living ! Sure you are an honour student or wht ever crap but do please do , step into my world and you'll know what the fuck i am feeling right now . Thanks for all your supports but i've fail you guys . I know i did . I'm sorry :(

Papa , I know you're not here with me now , I'm sorry that i have let you down :( I'm sorry for not being able do do well on my PMR exam's . I wish you were here , You would know how i feel at that time knowing you're not there beside me and cheering me on . Mom and bro are doing a HELL of a job i'll say , I miss you papa :( I wish you were still alive , I love you .


thanks . Goodbye

-lalarawry-

i love you :)

This is Muhd. NurFaizal B. Abdul halim <3

Baby , i would like to say thanks to you for making a huge change in my life . I thank you for being you and not pretending to be someone other that you're not . You didn't try to impress me in anyway . You've just been you from the very beginning . And that to me , is very special .

12th of November is the day that you took my heart away just by smiling to me at the pool . I fell in love with you instantly . My heart was racing , My face was all red and i was without a doubt , The happiest girl ever that day . And i cant belive that i walked in the rain with you . I could never forget that moment . At that time , i feel like i was up in the clouds :)

A month has passed and our love is stil going strong :) but i'm sorry that i'm not always telling you how much you mean to me , So i'm going to take this chance to show you how much you mean to me baby :) Do read this please :)


Babyy , You know that you mean the whole world to me and there's never a second where i wont tell you that I LOVE YOU everytime that we text . Yes , I admit to you . I am crazy for you . I cant live without knowing that you are in my life . As you always say to me "hati i kat you sayang" Yes baby , I know . Your heart is always with me as so does mine . Everytime i look into your eyes , I cant never get enough of you . There's a look in your eyes that makes me want to stare into them . Baby , You are my heartbeat and you know that . Guess what i am trying to say is that , I LOVE YOU SO DAMN FUCKING MUCH AND I COULD NEVER SURVIVE A DAY WITHOUT YOU :) If you're wondering if i'm loosing my mind or not , YES baby , The answer is yes . I am loosing my mind , And its all because of YOU .

Happy 1st month anniversary :)

i love you babyyy :)

will you marry me ?

please say YES !

fairytale come true ?

For some reason teens are into drama and scandles like they see in TV shows . Like 90210 , Gossip girl , The hills and lots more . Well , They act tried to immitade things in really life . For some of you FAKERS who thinks that they can pull it off in the real world , YOOO ! Here's a fuckingly WAKE UP CALL !

You cant live a normal life like in the TV shows you MORON ! What the fuck are you thinking ? There's never a happy ending to the people who acts like a bitch and thinks that they are all that but in reality , THEY ARE NOTHING !

Dont be pretending to people that you're rich and famous when you're not ! Dont fuckingly go steele other people's boyfriend just to make the school's headline ! People dont like you IDIOT ! People hate your GUTS !

And here's another thing , STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME !


Pssst , Fuck you :) You know who you are Biatch :)

When the truth came out ..

I stood there in silence as he was looking into my eyes . I can feel my heart beating at that time , I swear it was beating in a different beat . I never felt this way before with a guy . Maybe its just something about him that makes my heart beats so fast . I suddenly feel as if my face is buring hot .

He looks at me and laugh . He said "Are you really shy of me ? Its kinda cute knowing that you are :)" I thought to myself "OMG , why am i blushing ? Of all time ! this is the moment -.-" Then i looked down to the ground , i am still holding my silence . He hold my hand and placed on his heart , I could feel his heartbeat . It was the same beat as mine . "You're the only girl that can make my heart beat this way , what did you do to me ?" he said . I looked into those dark brown eyes , then i said , "I didnt do anything , I'm just being a retarded girl called lala . I'm sorry if i made you feel this way" I feel like crying knowing that i made him feel this way . but the thing is , I dont know what did i do .

As the day has come to an end , He took my hand and whisper in my ear , "i love you , I've always do . From the moment i meet you . I love you" I was stuned .. It was like a knife pierce to my heart as i know that i could not be with him . Its because i have i life of my own . I have someone that cares for me as much as i do for him . The guilt surrounds me .

"Look , I'm sorry if i gave you the wrong impression , I just wanna be a friend to you , nothing else . I have a boyfriend now . And you know that . I couldn't just leave him for my fantasy to finally come true . I've waited long enough for you to notice me . Well i gues here you are now . But you're just too little to late , I'm sorry :(" I can feel my tears are about to fall , so i walked away and left him there cause there's nothing i could say anymore ....


-lalarawry-

I'm stuck between the two

I cant Understand whats goind through their mind when each time they see me , its like i am looking at an angel and a broken hearted man . As i stand there looking into their eyes , I feel like i wanna rip out my heart and throw it away so that i wont be feeling this guilty towards them . Who are they ?

The Broken Hearted man :

He is the kind of guy who says what he wants and gives up after knowing he cant get what he wants . He is the type who you want to just spend the day with , his everything that you want in a perfect boyfriend . But as they say "things are not always that beautiful as what they pictured it in words" .

The Angel :

He is the the kind of guy who always gets what he wants and keeps to his words . He is the type of guy that you wanna spend the rest of your life with , He always know what to say or what to do for you to have a smile on your face as long as you're with him , he is really a dream come true .

Its hard to look at the both of them when both of them has feelings for you . And the hardest part is , You dont want to hurt any of them cause they mean so much to you . Its like when you think that life is getting the best of you , you would always count on them to make you smile again . But you cant always have what you want .

For now , I am just keeping things strong with the angel and act as if nothings going on . Theres still stories to be told , And i etend to continue that story


-lalarawry-

sorry .

Sorry i haven't been updating my blog cuz of actually , I FORGOT MY PASSWORD ! -.-" Haha . Anyways , Things has changed a lot lately , Things are kinda getting a lil too WEIRD to me and to my life . I invite people into my life and i let go some too . Its hard to know that somethings are just meant to be free not kept .

Me and HIM , Are going great as usual , Theres ups and downs but we learned alot from each other . I love you babyy :*

And my family is really giving me a real HEADACHE ! There's always drama's and fights . Grrr ! I cant take it anymore . GRRRR

Anyways , I'll update you guys on more later :) Byee :)

-lalarawry-

12th of Nov :)

That day was the day that my school has a football tournament with some primary school's all over the selangor area :) It was a beautifull day with a lot of cute kids :) Awww :D HAHAHA . Eventho they are kid's but they sure know how to flirt :) Ain't that just cute ? HAHA .

Anyways , As the game started , I was busy snapping picture's for the school mag :) Then I saw... OMG , I was stunned for a while . And a moment later , my face was RED HOTT ! SHITTT i tell you !

Then the stalker game starts :) Me , and the rest cant stop talking about him and stuff :) Gosh , He was to die for :D HAHA . (sorry megan fox :) I think i am straight :P) As the time goes by , I was literally kinda following him and looking at him the whole day long :D HAHAHA .

I finaly got tired of this game then i asked Alianna to get his number . I thought it was just for fun , But i guess not . Soon , I was texting him :D YEYYYYYYYYYYYY :))) HAHA . We chated for a while because we are too shy to hang out together -.- Then , eventually , WE DID ! HAHA , We got to know each other and i found out a lot of things about him :) But act , I cant take my eyes off from his EYES :D They are dreamable :)) OMG ! HAHAHAHAHAHA . WTF !

Then this weird thing happen , He asked me where is the nearest toilet , Then i told him the directions but as i suspected , He was still blur , then i showed him the way . When he went inside , I was going into the canteen and screaming my lungs out :)) How excited i was , Was undescribable :D after a few minutes , I went to the back way then i saw him standing there wanting to call me . I went at the back of him , And covered his eyes :) He SMILED !!! hahaha

Just we're about to walk back to the tent , It was starting to rain :) Then i asked him , "do you wanna go ?" Then he was like "I tk ksah :)" Then finally , We walked into the rain together :) Awwwwwwwww :) I was damn cold and wet when we got into the tent but it was worth it :)

The 2 hours we spend together flew by magically fast -.-" Haih , Soon it was time for him to say BYE BYE ;'( Haih . He said he'll text me tonight . I was waiting for him :) HAHA .

Well , Thats how i meet him :) Aww :D

-lalarawry-

Lets partyy our asses off people :)

7th of july is the day that we showed the teachers what we made off :D HAHA , Well . Most of us -.-" And and , Suprise suprise , The teachers also knows how to shake THEIR THANG ;D HAHA .

Goodbyeee form 3 :) Hello form 4 :D Let us make the best ending year of 2009 :D

We party , We danced & we laugh our asses off :D Thanks for everything Apiitian's ;D

love you guys doe :D

An empty cloud .

I'm stuck at home early in the morning , on my bed , stinking my room with my morning smell . Here i am listening to sad songs over this guilt thats driving me insane just thinking about it . I couldn't tell him the truth . But sooner or later i just have too ;(

Why why why why why have i got to known you in the first place ? Why why why why why are you here in my life even as a bestfriend ? Gosh .

The truth is since i first know you in August , You've stolen my heart away with your charms , Your words and those eyes that made me day dream . You always have the right words , Quotes and sayings to create a smile on my face through the hard times that i'm in . You're the only one who listens to every word i said eventho i am halfway to slumber land . You stayed on the line and the next day you told me that i was cute doing that . You always make me blush .

Eventho i wanted you so badly in my life , I know you already have HER in your life , The one and only that you can never let go off . I was shocked at first to know about it but i understand why she was important to you .

As from that day , I could never stop loving you . Till in september i found Rifdi , he was my only hope that i will forget about you . But as days goes by , Nothing changed . I am still waiting for you . i still have dreams of you every night . All the little things that i do , everything reminds me of you . And whenever i'm going to the mall or sacc , I'll have these flashbacks about you and me . But who was i kidding , You dont belong to me plus i have a boyfriend now .

Now , I know that you are already with her . Congratulations on that , I'm happy for you . Really i do . As i told you before , As long as she puts a smile on those lips , I'm happy :) Now i have to just accept the fact that i've lost my bestfriend . The thing is , this is my confession , I dont think that i can forget about you . You're too perfect and too kind to me . guess i'm not that over you yet . But i swear i will . I dont want to be sad when i see you and her .

Goodluck tho with her okayyy . Guess i have to share our cloud with someone else then .


goodbye .

You make every second as tho its magic :)

6th of Nov .

I commited a big LIE . I lied to my mom cuz apperently she thought i was at school but actually i was at Dalia's and then Sunway . The reason is , I was following Dalia to Sunway but we stoped at her house first while i actually tolod Rifdi that i'll meet him at Sunway around 1 something -.-"

By the time i was on the way , Its already almost 3 !!!! OMG , I feel so so so so guilty to him :( I'M SO SORRYYYY MONKEY ;( I as ducking afraid that he would be pissed off of what . I wont wanna stick around to see that -.-"

In the end , Things turn out to be the best day ever :) Sadly today was the last day that i get to see him for the next following month because of his bloody SPM :"( Stupid SPM -.-

*byyyyyyyyyyy , thanks for today :) I had the time of my life whenever i'm around you :) I love you no matter how you are . Hope to see you again real soon :) I LOVE YOU lah MONYET :D ooops salah lah , GUSI :D

a story about us ..

A guy once told me to make every second when you with your partner counts . At first i dont understand what does he means by that . I thought it was like he is being romantic and stuff , But act , There's a deep tale to that saying .

When i lost my father in july and then Rifdi came into my life .. I understand what he means by that saying .

What he means is that , If you take your partner for granted and not taking care of your partner as the way you should have , You would regret it someday . And when that day comes , You can shout all you want , You can cry all you want too . But , They wont come back . Make everyday worth living as tho you live until tomorrow .

For me , Living a second without Rifdi feels like a month , Imagin someone who is living a life without the one they love the most forever . .

It was on September when he was having dinner when he was about to ask his gf to be his bride , They were laughing over mcd and a funny movie at his house . When he wanted to ask the question .... She stoped laughing and she stoped breathing ... He called the ambulans and rushed her to the ER . But sadly , It was too late to save her . The doc said that she was suffering with a Tumor in the brain . By that time , He feels like falling to the ground , The girl that he loves the most just laying on the bed , Breathless ....

Its true when some couples said , "I'll love you till the day i took my last breath" . He was touched to know that he was the only guy that she ever loved and she knew that she was going to go . When he comes to her house , Her parents gave him a note that she wrote for him just a few days before she passed away ..

The last i talked to him was on the 2nd of Nov . Where he was actually in Hawai where he was planning to travel with her . He said to me was ..

1. Love your partner as much as you can .
2. Make them smile as much as you can .
3. Dont ever forget to tell them that you love them that most .
4. Never say goodbye just hello's .

Then he put down the phone after i hear him crying . . .

Its hard to loose a love one , And its hard to act as tho you're okay but when inside , You're actually dying of pain .

-lalarawry-

Babe , i'm sorry .

Youuu , I'm sorry for saying all the thing that i said before this about your boyfriend , Its just if you feel the way that i am felling for this one particular guy . You would know how i feel . To hope for someone that wasn't meant for you . I am not the girl who forget things that hurts me the most . I'm sorry for everything . Guess i am still a kid that's trying to figure out things . I'm only 15 . So , Give me a chance to forget things and move on .

As i said , The ghost of my past still haunts me . Do understand that this year is the hardest year for me . I don't expect you to understand but i really want you to know that i love your bestfriend so much . And i really wanna make things last . I'm tired of playing games and i'm tired of being sad .

I'm sorry for the way i acted . Hope things would be okay . I didnt mean to create trouble . Hope you'll forgive me .

Bitch talking is a NO NO -.-

Today has nothing out of the extra ordinary day except for knowing the truth's that came out from my best friend and her crushes mouth . Aww , We were playing truth or dare btw :)

Anyways , Today i went to Gerai seksyen 2 and i meet izrai then after that he walked me home and bla bla bla ... *detail sumpah bosan cuz nothing happen* then i meet with one of my friends brother near my house . The story starts with a phone call .. I put it on speaker cuz he wanted to know too :)

Me : Hello , TUUUUUT . Whats up ?

Tuuut : Heyy , nothing . I just wanna tell you about this guy that i fuckingly hate doe -.-"

Me : Ohh do tell :) Maybe i know this dude :)

Tuuut : Okayy , here's the thing . He said he loves me then he is in love with another girl too , Pfffft , He things his all that ke ? What the fuck lah . I mean , I am not that into him because he is too chezzy . Urghhhh . I hate guys like that .

Me : What the hell ? Thats weird , Then are you guys still okayy ?

Tuut : Act , i am not okay with him because act i want to play with his heart by getting him to love me and only me so that he could dump that bitch and go to me :) Then i'll dump him to see how he feels like getting dump :D

Me : What the hell are you doing that for ? Its not nice weyh -.-" I pity the dude . Chill lah . There's always other guys out there for you to play with -.-"

Tuut : No . You dont understand , He is the hottest guy in campus or so the girls say lah . I dont think so . So i want the popularity here missy -.-"

Me : Haih . You and your popularity -.- I dont know you anymore . You've change into a heartless bitch man -.-"

Tuut : Look whose talking RIFDI :)

Me : Urghhh , Leave him out of this . I admit i was wrong for treating him that way but he knows why lah -.-" NOT like this dude ! PITY THE POOR GUY LAH BITCH !

Tuut : Who cares ? I want to make history :) SO kiss my ass lah ;D

Me : What ever , what's the guys name act ?

Tuut : The guy's name is N**** :) My college .

Me : What ? What course ?

Tuut : Bussiness .

Me : Describe him ? Tuut : Tall , Fair , Good looking , Nice teeth . oh , I forgot , He lives in shah alam too :)

Me : Are you talking about N**** H**** ?

Tuut : Yeahhhhhhhhhhh :) Thats the guy :)

OMG ........................ N took my phone and goes ..

N: Oi betina . Kau apahal lah siall -.-" Kau pikir kau lawa sangat ke haa ? Oi , aku nak kart kau sebab aku nak maen gan kau aje lah bodoh !!!

Tuut : Omg , Sayang ? You ke tuu ?

N : Apahal sial panggil aku sayang agy ? FUCK LAH !

Tuut : Sayang , I'm sorry okayy :( I didnt mean to ;(

N : Ahhh , I hope to see you in hell soon bitch .

Then N ended the call then said thanks to me . He got into his car and said byee . Goshh . That was harsh -.-"

Then about 5 mins later . Tuut call -.-"

Tuut : Sayang ? I'm fucking sorry

Me : Sorry babe . Dia dah belah .

Tuut : Apahal doe you tak ckap yang dia ad ?

Me : I didnt know that you kenal dia . He never mention about you to me . Eventho i best friend dia .

Tuut : Thanks for ruining my life .

Me : Don't blame me bitch , Blame yourself :)

Tuut : URGHHHH !

The end :)

P/s : If you want to talk bad about people , DONTTTTT ! You'll get hurt back in the end :)

haha . wht the fuck lah sial -.-"

Hello , hey you bitch . I wanna straight things up here okayyy . What the fuck is your problem hurting my bestfriend ? Do you think that you're good enough for him huh ? NEWS FLASH lah siall , Kau sape nk hurt dia doe ? Look , I know you're little miss popular *as if i give a shit -.-* anyways , It doesn't mean that you have the fucking right to do that to my best friend . This means war .

OI POMPUAN , kau kate nak gado en ? Jumpe aku kart mcd 3 , ahad , Kau nk bawak sape sape , Kau bawak lah . Aku datang sorang . Nk gado sangat en ? Bak datang.

If you're reading this , YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT THAT DOESN'T KNOW THE MEANING OF LOVE THAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES . BITCH !

Love me or hate me . Your choice fucker :)

Friends , Bitches , Mother fuckers alive's :)

LISTEN UP DOE .

Heyyyyyy there people :) Why do you all think that you are so good then other people huh ? Why do you think that you deserve to talk SMACK about other people ? Why do you think that you are so fuckingly perfec than other people huh ?

YO bitch , Look at yourself into the mirror okayyyy ! See your fucking self in the mirror and ask yourself this , "Do i deserve the power to fuck other peoples life ?" or this "Do i deserve to play God to judge other people ?" WHAT THE FUCKLAH SIALLLLLL -.-

And to all that judge me and my life . GO fuck yourself and leave my life alone okayyyy :) If you want to talk about other people , Feel free to do so infront of my face can or not ? Or if you guys are to chicken to do so , Then , KISS MY ASS BITCH :D

-lalarawr-

The love of my life :)

The guy that always makes my laugh out loud :)

I belong to him on the 20th of september 2009 and we are still going strong . I highly thank to Azrin , Bee [k] for giving him my number if not , I would never get the chance to know this monkey and to call him mine :)

The stories behind our smiley faces is unbelivable . The things that we ave to go through to make our relaitionship work . All the crying , the screaming , the swearing . I'm sorry for what i've done baby :'(

The truth is , I was never plan to fall in love with him , It just happened . I was so eager to make him mine because in some how , He reminds me of my dad . I feel safe when i'm around him and so does my brother . Its weird how actually , He smiles just like my dad but only his teeth are still full . Gosh i miss that smile :(

Babyyy , i hope that you know that i would never leave you . No matter how hurt i am , no matter what ever the bullshits that life might give us , Remember my promises . I will always be with you . Only you can get the best of me in anyway that you do baby :) I just hope that we could be as we were before i met your friends . We were so happy then . I never want that happiness to go away .


Baby monkeyyy , I love you so much okayyyy :D No matter how annoying you might be sometimes :P

The ghost of my past .

I hate to look into the mirror and when i look into the mirror ,



I hate to see back the reflection that i see . My past is always haunting me everytime i look at myself . To see the flashbacks that i've done or my love ones talking bad about me , It made me realize that i was living a lie all this time . My bstfriend's turns to be my enemies . My friends are just pretending to be my friends , Life as i knew at that time , Fucking shit lies .

From 2003 till 2008 , I GOT CRAP FROM YOU GUYS MAN -.-"

Now , its 2009 , The year where things starts to change . I wasnt afraid to look in the mirror anymore , I can say NO to my temptations , I can say NO to all the bad things that i use to do like Drinking and Smoking with he help of my love ones , Rifdi Razmi , Nurazmina , Siti amirah , Mariah Athira , Farah Athirah Harris Hashimi and Fatah Emir :)

These people are the people that i treasure the most because they stick by my side through better or worst . I love them to bits :)

Thanks guy's :)
Iloveyou :)

-lalarawr-

I am a moron -.-

Hello people ..

This is something about this someone that fuckingly break my heart and kill my soul -.-"

I hatee you and i was suprise to know that i was MADE A FOOL OFF :'(

URGH , I hate when that kinda thing happend :(

All the songs that i gave you , all the quotes , and all the poems , Do know that i hate those shits right now .

I especially hate youuu :)

May you happy with the one you love okayyyy :D

And by the wayyyy , FUCK YOUUUU !

Omg , i'm addicted to things -.-"

Things that i realized that i'm addicted too in he past few months :

1. CHOCOLATE :D

2. Sleepinggg :)

3. Musiccc that can make my dance :)

4. Talking about stupid crapyy shitts :)

5. Eating ice cream :)

6. Thinking bout the FUTURE *it scares my sometimes*

7. My phone :) *pfffffft , thats always i think :)*

8. Writing love songs

9. Smiling in a cheekyyy wayyyy :D *kening kening*

10. Being weird than usuall :)

11. Sad songs

12, Stories about life and death .


Being a teenager is FREAKING weird dude -.-" theres this and that . I wanna be a KID ! i wanna jump around and do what ever i want without anyone gives a crap about it ! :)


-lalarawr-

this is our fav song :)

I saw him today -.-"

Today evening i went to Gerai sek 2 then i saw ..... HIM !

OHMYGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD !

Its been a long time since i saw him . Then there he was ! :0

Sitting there doing nothing and looking at me like i am a GHOST or something -.-"

URGH , Wht the hell lah dude . Then then , i sat beside him cuz thats the only empty chair available -.- Then he start talking to me ....

A : Heyyyy youuu :) Rindu you doe :) Lame tk nampak you :D

Me : Are you fucking kidding me or something ? I texted you and called you but you said "sorry , I am busyy , i'll call you soon okayyy"

A: Opppps , i'm sorry about that :)

Me : Ohh , Now you're sorry . Pfffft , -.-"

A : Heyyy , dont be this way , You're still my fav girl ?

Me : Ohh really ? Go dieee lah youu

A : Oh really ? Maybe i will .

Me : Goooooood :) So i dont have to see your face again you maggot

A : Fineeee . byeeee .

Me : Get on stepping fag .

A : I loveeee you .

Me : pffffffffft , I dont :D

then i looked at my friend and said .

Me : I'm sorry , I cant see you with this thing around .

S : Lahhh , chill lah -.-"

Me : Sorry . I'll cll you tonight . byee

A just looked away and i just walk not looking behind ....

-lalarawr-

about this guy :o

I think that he might be my soul mate for some reason :)

Why you may ask :D

Its because ,

1 . He loves the same songs as i do :)

2 . He loves the same bands as i do :)

3. He loves the same chocolates as i do :)

4. He loves the same ice cream as i do :)

5. He has been through the ame things in a relaitionship as i do :)

6. He is so sweet as i do :) *HAHAHAHA

7. He loves to sings like no bodies bussiness as i do :)

8. He loves my eyes as i love his :)

9. He is a spoil brat as i am :)

10. He has a rocking bodyyyyyyy :D *lalallalalla*


- Lets just say that i am falling in love- HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

falling in love with the wrong person -.-"

Okayyy okayyy , lots of things happened actually on the 29th of October :)

here's one of it .

There's this one guy that i've been eying on for sometime since i enter the wet park of sunway lagoon :) I cant forget those eyes of him that somehow makes me go crazyyyy :D

I was determine to get him :) To me , I was on a mission :D HAHAH *mission imposible lah konon* HAHA . The funny thing is i thought that ....

At the congo slide :D

Me : Omg , hotttttt doe :)
min : I know right :)
Mira : Comeyl gila :D
Me : I want him :) HAHAHA
Min and mira : Remember ***** ! HAHA .
Me : Whose ***** again ? HAHAHA . I'm sorry :)

Then we all went for the slide :D WEEEEEEEEE

After the slide , We went to another slide :) There min tried to cut the line or so he thought -.-"

min was going thro the chains the he said : No no no , cannot go thro there :o

min's face was red then ever :D HAHAHAH . *padan muke min*

anyways ,

after all the other rides and stuff , I decided to go to the top ride with Harris :)

Then i saw that guy again :D

i said to harris :

Me : Waahhh , cepat gila dia teleport doe -.-"
Harris : Apelah you niyh , Ingat sorang tuuu -.-"
Me : HAHA , Chill lah :D
Harris : Well , He just laugh -.-"

Then after we went for thw congo slide again , I took the advantage to go to him :D HAHAHAH

Me : I want to go on the ride that his in :)
Harris : Pglah amik pelampung sane -.-
Me : HAHA , Okayyyyyyy :D

At the slide :)

Him : Asl ? sejuk ke ?
Me : Verrryyyyy .....
Him : Alaaa cian , Nak pluk tapi malu :)
Me : Awwwwwwww ......

Then weeeeeeeeeeee :) Offf the slide i go down :)

HAHAHA , After that me and harris went partying with the others at the beach :)

Next storyyyy :) After Chaging my clothes , I saw him standing by the slide that Ms.Suffiah and they all were sitting . Damn ,was i dumb -.-" I literally danced there and he watched my every moved 0.0" HAHAH . That was embaressing -.-"

Then After eating and brupppppping :) BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUP :D I went to the poll to watch him but pretending not too so that it didnt look like i was , then Mira came along :)

Me : Wey , Couple tuu doe :)
Mira : HAHA . Jom Jom . MIN !!!!!

Min datang :)

Me : Awww sayang , I love you
Mira : I love you tooo :)
Min : I love you more sayang :)
Me : Babyyyy , I nk pegang tangan youuuu :( Awww ,
Min : HAHA . Okayyy sayang .
Me : Alaaaaa byyyyyy , asl tk pkai bju warna itam ?. Tk same lah . Tk nk sayang :(
Min gelak and so does mira :D
Me : TKpelah . I nk kart mira , You byeeee ! Weeeeek >:P
Mira and me and min laugh out loud :D HAHAHAHAAH

then we went to the back an d took some pics and eats then i asked haziq to asked for his num :) and after that he waved me goodbye and suff's :) AWWWWWWWWWWW :D

That evening at 7 :) I texted him and stuff and at 10 i think , i callled him and we talked about today then i realized that ....

I WAS FLIRTING WITH TWINS !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THEY LOOK THE SAME ! URGHHHH , MALU GILAAA !!!

luckyyyyy the lil bro was taken :) But the big bro isnt :D So i got the big bro :D HAHAHHAHHAHHAA

the end :)

why are you so serious ?

Why are you taking things about us so seriously ? Things about us are still so new so we should take things SLOW ! I am a girl who wants to be pampered by my love one 0.o Not to be miss treating by someone who cames into my life and thinking that i am some kind of a child -.-"

DUDE ! Growwwww up lah , be matured -.-" You're the one who says that we should take things slow and steady but instead , You are the one taking things SERIOUS -.-" Haih ...

I hope that you know that this is YOU that i am talking about :0 Good for nothing -.-"

My happy ending's

To all the things thats happening in life , as i lost my father on 11th of july 2009 , Those are really challenges from God to see if we can handle the real life . Everybody who lives must go . Thats the promise that God has made to us all .

The things that i've learned in lofe since my dad has gone is that treasure each momments with your love one . Dont make them feel left out from your life , Cause in the end , When they're gone . There's no chance for to make things right anymore , Only left with you is memories , and pictures . I regret for not taking the advantage for being with my dad through his hard moments when he needs me the most , I wasnt there to hold his hand and tell him that everything is going to be okay cause i am too fucked up with my own world . ....

The lessons in life are freaking painfull , Thats how life is either we like it or not , eventho my father isn't here with me anymore , It teaches my family to be close to each other and be there for each other no matter whats the problem is .

My happy times are the moments when i am in my fathers arms . Now my happy times is when i see a smile on my other family members face , Its hard nowadays to see them smiling when w eat in 1 table cuz theres always going to be that empty chair where he use to sit there and talked to us .

my happiness in day time is filled with my crazy friends and family but at night , things get a bit sad knowing each day you wanted in front of the door for someone who cant come back to you . Wishing that , that someone could be in your arms again as you run through the door waiting for him to catch you . But i spend my days from 5 till 10pm at night staring at the door with tears flowing down my cheeks . Hoping that he would come back ...

I miss you papa :'( i really do

The song that i wrote for him :)

The roses are red ,
and the violets are blue ,
I've searched far and wide for someone like you ,
To look in your eyes ,
When they meet mine ,
Theres nothing that i rather do ,
Than telling you how much that i really love you ,
I closed my eyes and dreamed of you ,
holding me close while flying to the sky above .

c/o :

The birds are singing ,
The dogs are barking ,
Its a brand new day ,
Theres chapter to be written ,
I'll filled them up with stories about what we're gonna be ,
Just you and me ,
I feel like that i must have done something right ,
To have someone as special as you in my life ,
I'll promise to be by your side ,
Forever you'll be safe with me ,
I'll make you're problems go away .

Theres nothing that i rather do ,
That hold your hand and tell you that i love you ,
Hope that you would feel the same way too ,
I could give yo my world ,
I could give you my heart ,
Cause no one has ever make me feel this way ,
Theres something about you just makes my world ,
i miss a heartbeat everytime I look in your eyes .

repeat c/o

Guess this is it ,
My song that i wrote it just for you ,
Keep this in mind ,
That i'll always be loving you ,
No matter how far you may go ,
My heart still forever always belongs to you ...


-lalarawry-

My retarded friends :)

These are the monkeys that make my life meaningfull everyday :D These monkeys are my Retards :D I love them :)

Meeeet Farah Sayang :)

Meeeeeeet Dalia , Min , Mira and ME :D

Meeet Andreaaa :)

Meeet soniaaa :)

Meeeeeet amirah :)

Meeet Mira and Min :)

Meeeet Haziq , Yati , Farah , Mini , ME , Mar , Mira and Min :)

HURT THEM , HURT ME .

BACK OFF FROM MY FAMILY !

A day to remember :)

29th October 2009 :)

This is the day i that i cant never forget till the day that i close my eyes :) the day starts as all the form 3's were having a school trip to SUNWAY LAGOOON :) Along with 3 of the bestest teachers any student would wish for , Ms.sue , Pn.Norma and Ms.Suffiah :D

As we reached subang , We were startin g the day by eating at Jaafar . The mamak stall which has SHISHA :D Wahhhhhh , sangap doe :) HAHAHA . Anyways , Me , mira and min were eati ng roti canai and milo ais , then i palanned to see rifdi before we go into the lagoon .

After eating , i went straight to sunway and meet with Rifdi , Azrin , baby fara , Teyra and khai :) then comes along khalid . Then we chatted for a bit and make our way to lagoon , me , rifdi and khalid . Awww :) HAHAHA . *khalid sibuk aje -.-" JK*

Inside the lagoon , things and feelings changed for a while when i saw his eyes :) HAHA .


then then ................ The rest of the day was my lil secret :D HAHAHAH


-lalarawry-

30th Oct 2009

Today is a normal day of school . living the life after PMR . Ms yun yun asked us , (min , mar , mira and me ) to do something for the art exibition on the 7th of july :)

How creative are we rightttt ? :) HHAHAHA . We are actually just there for painting , sleep , paint paint , sleep and TALKING :D I think our days are not complete without picking on one another :D HAHA . Well , I always win obviously :D HAHAHA . *jangan marah :D*

I was on the phone with this HOT guy Around 8 something then till 9 something :D HAHA . I called him 3 times i think cause of the damn creadit keep finishing -.-" Lucky MIN was there to save the day :))) Thanks MIN !!! HAHAHAHA :D He is the most sweetest guy ever :D HAHA . I can go on forever bout him :D But i'll save it till the day that he'll be mine . I wonder when that would be -.- Anyways , We were talking about things then they all disturb me by saying ,

Min : Aww ,sayang , I love you and bla bla bla :D
Mira : HAHA . i love you toooo and bla bla bla :D

*sorry to cut things short guys*

then after that , He gave a lecture to mira and min for calling me a retard :D HAHA *Awwwww ! My hero <3* HAHAHAHAHA . Serves them right :D

After 9.45 , he is ready to go to workkk :( So i cant talk to him till 6.30 :'( Haih . What a long 6 hours and a half that would be :(

when i reached home , Things got a lil weird out -.-"

mama : kenapa adik masam aje niyh ?
me : Sorry mama , tkdek pape pun .
mama : Cite lah , malam tadi ckap gan ***** happy aje :) asl now moody ?
me : Its nothing lah mama ,
mama : eyh , asl tk pgang phone dh ? gdo gn rifdi ke ?
me : I dont know mama . I dont want to talk about it .
mama : tkpelah if mcm tuu , but just remember , there's someone out there that can love you as much as he'll ever can :)
me : Oh , okayyy mama :) thanks .

..... then she walks to the kitchen , but then she turns around and said

mama : ***** is a really nice boy and he loves you .
me : What ? Huh ? how did you know ?
mama : He called me and explain everything :)
me : shocked in silence .................

Thats my day so far :)

-lalarawry- :D