listen to me

Its been a whole seen i've updated my blog , things has been going on a lot for the past few weeks , some are weird and some of it is hurtfull and some other is shits -.-"

Here's the thing , i've been single for the past 3 months before i went on with apek , we were already like scandles in a way and then on the 20th , we were together , but the truth is , i told everyone else that i was still single cuz i know that things couldn't be so true when it comes to these kinda guys , then actually , i was rightt , let me ask you this , Do you get horny with someone else and expect that other person to be okay with it ? WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT ?

Thats just the tip of the ice , there's more . we were constanlly fighting over the stupidest things ! everyday , every hour and every minute theres always something thats going wrong , then in the end , we broke up . pffft , shocker -.- NOTTTTTT

After 2 weeks being together , everything ended . So i continued my life as normal while a few guys wanted to be in my life , but the thing is , i already have someone that i wanted to be with , on the 1st of march , we were together .

Things are going perfectly well until .... Things turned cold . Now evrything that he once said , means nothing to me .

thats the end of my storyyy ,

thanks :)

-lalarawry-

A new love ? Maybeeee :P

It was a saturday night , and it was around 2 something in the morning ! While i was sleeping soundly and dreaming about Taylor Lutner , My bloody phone rang -___-" , I was too lazy to pick up but in the end i did . Gaaaaaaaaaaaah .

But actually it paid off in the end , I endup talking to this guy who was recently got dump by his one year plus girlfriend and he is in a total mess . I felt sorry for him and i shared things with him as to comfort him and stuff . But i can't help smiling to myself knowing that his voice really kept me awake till it was already 7 in the morning and we're still talking on the phone ! :)

After that night , We cant stop talking to each other and texting , Its like times just flies by whenever i'm talking to him and sharing things that we both love , its either in music , or foods :) I'm counting the days till i'll finally meet him one day :)

thank youu :)

-lalarawry-

          The one thing that i am certainn about in my life is , I could never forget about you . Its like everytime i try to forget about the things that we used to be , the more i realize that i am just making myself suffer . I am crying for hours because the pain was too harsh to endure .

       The more i think about You , the more less my problems seems , As days goes by , i wonder to myself , Do you even know that i miss you ? Do you even know that i am dying each second without you ? and always wonder if you still love me like i am loving you .

       I am sitting here hopelessly thinking "why can i love anyone else ?" , "why cant i just give my heart to anyone else ?" Only after 3 months and 2 days i realized that you still have my heart with you .

       Its crazy you know when you think about forever , when you're in love , Forever feels as tho it is very short , but when you're alone , Forever seems like a long time . 

       I close my eyes every night with tears accompanying me when i slee p , knowing that i only have your shirt , and your memories thats left for me to remember you by . The truth is , I miss you . i miss us :( 

      Hope you're reading this , i love youu baby 

- lala rawr -    

the things about you

You were once someone that i would die for , You were someone that i would love till the end of time . But i realize that the end was just after a few months . You act as tho everythings okay , while i'm dying inside but you'er still with your ways . It hurts to know that you are already with someone else , You gave me false hope , You left me to die , you never even say goodbye ..

A month has passed and i'm still stairing at yur pictures , Wondering that if that you might still think of me every now and they like i do . I stand at the place were we used to jog everyone and then and just remember about things that we used to be . All the laughters , All the hugs . Eveything just seems to fade away .

I wanna move on , but i cant . eventho i've tried my hardest , I could never forget the things bout youuu :(
Wish you could come back to me :(

2010 is sexay ;)

2010 Is the most sexayest year EVER !

WHYYYYYY ?!!

1. The people are SEXAY

2. The drama's are SEXAY

3. The thangs are SEXAY

4. The arses are SEXAY

5. The words are SEXAY

6. EVERYTHING IS SEXAY


Oh yeah , incase you haven't know yet , SEXAY is the new RAWRRRRR in my dictionary of life ;)

I sexyyyy ;)

You laugh , i cry .

The thing about memories is , They always find a way to get back into our mind . Eventho that memory is the memory that you want to erase it forever , but you just can't . You keep remember things that you've been thru with someone that you still love and hoping that , that someone would realize that you wan them back in your life .

But , as soon as you puck up the guts to ask them , They already have someone to replace your place . At that moment itself , you felt like you wanna just cry for hours , tear all of that persons pictures , erase everything that can reminds you of that someone .

In the end , you would be looking thru their myspace or facebook just to know things about them , Is that person okay , Is he/she happy ? Is he/she having the time of their lifes with a person who is not you ?
then you'll be wondering to yourself  , "Why did i let him/her go :("

By then , You'll be stairing at they're pictures , wishing that it was you who is in the picture with him/her . You'll cry and cry but he/she doesnt even know about it , They are just laughing away :( while you are hidding in your room from the world , crying over someone elses happiness ..

-pffft , love ?-

-lalarawry-

Boyfriends -__-"

February is the time of year for love because of the 14th . Valentine's Day . And usuall at this very day , I'll be sitting in my room , thinking that everyone deserves to be loved , except for me :(

Every year its the same thing , I've always spending my valentine's day alone or with my family , NEVER with a love one that i could be happy in "love" with . So for this year , Guess what , I cant go out with ANYONE -___-" Pffffft , and on top of that , I dont even have a BOYFRIEND :O Damn sucks right ? Eveyone around me is either in love or already together with someone . And i am still SINGLE because i don't want to break anyone of those hearts that asked for me to be with them .

Act , the longer i am single , The longer they'll come and after me , GEEEZZ ! And everyone keeps asking me this question , Idk whyyy , "whats your ideal boyfriend ?"

Pffffffft , okay fine , If you guys really wanna know ,


- He has to be a RETARDED person , Like ME ! :)

- He has to be open with things

- He has to be really patient with the way i am :)

- He doesn't have to be handsome or cute , as long as he has a nice smile , Thats AWESOME :D 

- He has to be able to be there for me whenever i need him or i dont need him , Its not like i dont , Just not at that moment i guess . 

- He has to know whats my likes and dislikes :)

- He has to spoil me in anyway . Example : Cuddle , smiles , words , make funny faces and his sacrastic laughs :D

Last but not least ,

- He has to love me for ME , not for anything ELSE ! :)

free to laugh at their faces :)

I have been away from school since last tuesday due to my sickness that i almost taken my life away , At that time i was thinking if i closed my eyes forever , Would people be happy ? If God took my life away at that moment , I guess that people would be smiling their ass off cause i'm not around anymore .

For 4 days i was handling the pain just to survive until at a point , I just wanna give up my life and be done with it already cause to me , why would you wanna live in a place where you know that you're not belong to ?

I attend to change all that so that people would know who i am and people would take back all the things that they said to me . But its going to take a hell of patients and personal anger management -________-" So that one day , I'll be laughing at their faces :)

Can't wait till that day comes :D

ttyl :)

-lalarawry-

The music into my ears (:

Heart-A-Tack down below

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iB7dO7Tv38

The lead singer from this band is my bestfriend who is also everything to me , Ayeen :) He is the guy that shows me the true meaning of music :)

This is one of my fav song from this band :) Support them :D

Oh and ayeen , I love you dude <3

The real me .

People nowadays cant seem to shut their mouths can they ? Always talking about people just to make themselves feel better then EVERYONE else  !

Well here's a shout out to you bitches ,

Yaw Bitches !

Stop talking bad shits about people ! If you think that you're so good enough , why don't you say it infront of my FACE ! If not , Then SHUT THE FUCK UP !
Its because of jerks like you , I've lost almost everyone that i treasured the most ! And because of you guys , I've almost lost someone that's very dear to me , My bestie :( . How Would you like it if people talked things behind your back huh ?
Get A fucking life you MORRON ! Stop screwing others ! Unless you dont have anything nice to say , SHUT THE FUCK UP !

Form 4 stories :)

Today is the 4th day that i've been a form 4 student :) So far , things are going absolutely FUN :D The new subjects are surely interesting and the best part is , in my class , there's this one boy that is kinda small , I mean REALLY small but as cute as a 6 year old , He is like the comedian of the class :)

Everytime when there's a teacher comes to teach us , he will surely do or say something that is really super cute :P As amy said "dia flirting gan kau doe zai" i was lke pfffffffft , as if ! Well , I dont know , he winks at me and stuff but i think that he is just being annoying :)

But , The bad thing about this year is that the school rules and teachers has been taken to a whole new level which is freaking UNCOOL -_______-" The new teachers are freaking mean looking , and the name of the school , Pffft , ridiculous like damn shit man ! I like apiit better :)

Oh oh , and i think that miss adeline has lost her mind , whyy ? she elected me to be a PREFECT ! Omg 0.o what is she thinking man ! I have no capability to be one -__________-

well , thats the end :)

-lalarawry-

Somethings are better left as a secret

You know when you text or call someone then you felt something that you too cant explain the sensation *not talking horny stuff's f.y.i* its like your heart is beating so fast like its going to burst out , and you're face is freaking red , you cant stop smiling and your words became to tell a different story . You'll be thinking "omg , what the hell is happening to me ?"  That ladies and gentlemen , The "love bug" has bitten you again :)

Sure , its good to be in love or being gaga over a guy or a girl . You talked for hours but it feels like minutes , You think about them for days but you still think that its not enough cause you know that , that person deserve so much more from you . So you act weirdly like trying to flirt with them and make them laugh or something , Till at a point , You know that the thing that you've done , are all wasted .

Us people are common to make mistakes , as in , Telling the person that you like or love .. The truth . "hey , i like you" or even , "hey , i don't know how to say this , but i think i love you" This is certainly a very WRONG thing to do ! The thing is , some people don't think like we do or feel the same way that we do .

The thing is , you have to keep them guessing but not waiting . Be casual but seductive *not the horny thingy* show then you love them but be as secretive as you can be . Girls and guys likes to play a little bit of love games to attract their attention . To show that you really want them but you're not trying so hard . That ladies and gentleman is the key to win over someones heart :)

The next time you wanna confess to someone that you like them , make sure not to be so straight forward -___-" Its going to make things very awkward for that person . Trust me , I've learn the hard way :(

10 things why i hate my life -_________-

There are 10 things that i hate about my life :)

1. My family doesn't understand me -__________-"

2. I am a prisoner at my own house :(

3. My boyfriend is TOO hot ,  that's why people wanna take him away -___-" *fuck you bitches !*

4. My boobs are too attractive to people -__- *thats what they all say*

5. As my friend said "Kau kene kuaq pakai plastic bag kart muke kau" HAHAHA . WTF

6. People say that i am TOO nice -__________-" *as if -,-"*

7. My eyes gila retarded but my boyfriend kate ia sexy ;P *pale dia doe*

8. My ass is like to BIG ! *I need to squat -__________-"*

9 . I can't always have anything that i want :(

10 . I'm not happy with  my life :(

The ghost of my past :O

I texted someone from my past the other day . I was thinking "Oh shit , What the hell am i doing ? He wont reply for sure -___- you are so dumb lala !"  Then a few minutes later , He did reply my text . My heart was pounding the whole time i was texting him . We talkd about life , future and current things thats going on .

Little that i know , he already has someone that can makes him happy the way i could never imagine doing . The smile on his face at Spade when he hold her hand , I would give anything to have his gaze back then . But things change . So does feelings .

As days goes by , we became friends . It was a good thing for me . Because i never wanna loose him from my life again . Its hard enough dealing with my mistakes in the past . Its time for me to fix things up .

But how can i be friends with someone i used to love ? Seeing him with another girl just makes me feel like jumping down a cliff or stab my heart or something so that it wont hurt anymore . If you ask me if i still love him . My answer is .. maybe yes . Its hard for me to forget him even throwing away his stuffs makes me breakdown in tears . So i kept it all . All of our memories .

Pfffft, Who am i kidding man -__-" He obviously wont accept me back even if his single. What the hell was i thinking ? That i can just take him away from his new love ? NO WAY -_-" I'm not that cruel or bitchyy ! Guess i just have to accept the fact that his happy now :) 

Goodluck with her :) I'm happy for you both .

-lalarawr-

Ayeen :(

Hello my panda bestiee :) HAHA .

Ayeen , i write this to tell you something , Dude , DONT GO TO THE STUPID PLKN  ;(  How can i live without you for 3 whole months . I can't call you or text you man :( I can't hear your voice singing to me when i want you too . Its just sad when i think about letting you go to the bloody plkn . Who will i talk to ? Whose shoulder will i lean on ?

Ayeen , you're special to me in every way . You're a part f my life now and i am really thankful to have such a friend as you . You should me that you can love someone unconditionally without thinking whats going to happen next or where will it end . You open my heart to see that theres more to life that i have to learn and be strong for whats going to happen .

I am so used to talking to you , no matter at day or night , You're always be there for me when i need you . Its hard for me to find a friend like you . You know me better then anyone else . You're like my better half . How can i spend my days without you ?

Gaaaaaaaaaaah , ayeen :( Each day is a day closer for you to go away from me . I promise myself that i wont cry when you're gone . But you know that i can't right :( I love you dude. I really do .

Oh and dude , I'm sorry for being to "jiwang" And all but you're worth it :D

-Iloveyou panda dude-

-lalarawry-

ahh , new year :)

Goodbye 2009 , Hello 2010 :D

Well , today is the 1st of January 2010 ! Only a few days left till school re-opens :D *pfffffft , why am i so happy about school ? Thats weird -_____-"* 

So , people are always talking about new year thingy right , Well , my new year thingy is just : 

1. TO have an AWESOME time being a form 4 student .

2. Party till DAWN !

3. Study my ass off for me to have my freedom -___-" FUCK

4. Try to be nice to my family :) *pfft, as if ! -_-"*

5. Try to be nice to other people :) *aww, i'm turning GAY*

6. Living a retarded happy GAY life and meking the best of it for 2010 :) 

7. Bash anyone that is Annoyingly disturbing my happiness :D *Oh yeah !* 

8. Smile alot :D 

9. Ohh ohh , try to remember the good times with papa as much as possible *i miss you pa :(* 

10. Oh , and try not to cry on papa's birthday :( 25th January :'(

Well , thats all for my 2010 new years thingy :D HAHA

-lalarawry-